I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
