I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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