I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
