so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize