party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
