A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule