Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.