i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.