Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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  (850): Did you dl zombie porn on my computer? http://tfl.nu/emjo
  Replies (11) Good night (1923) Bad night (3199)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.

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  (702): you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/rajr
  Replies (11) Good night (4145) Bad night (927)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.

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  (612): and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me. http://tfl.nu/2uzy
  Replies (21) Good night (836) Bad night (6614)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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  (813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89
  Replies (19) Good night (7380) Bad night (1236)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

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  (401): the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex. http://tfl.nu/qat1
  Replies (18) Good night (5460) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.

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  (317): I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend. http://tfl.nu/dbby
  Replies (6) Good night (3184) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

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  (330): Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her? http://tfl.nu/1j07
  Replies (12) Good night (4371) Bad night (1323)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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  (845): I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain? http://tfl.nu/0jn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4515) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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  (214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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  (401): Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters http://tfl.nu/a1rx
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.

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  (603): I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night. http://tfl.nu/r0y8
  Replies (11) Good night (1190) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .

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  (215): So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand . http://tfl.nu/gg9e
  Replies (22) Good night (1172) Bad night (2916)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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  (773): He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex. http://tfl.nu/oxcx
  Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.

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  (330): I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/h6wa
  Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.

  (310): View more from California

  But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.

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  (310): Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird. (310): But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better. http://tfl.nu/lfnf
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (272)

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