Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

Guess she heard her killer coming

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(480): View more from Arizona

naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor

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(217): View more from Illinois

i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(989): View more from Michigan

Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.

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(206): View more from Washington

She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

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(305): View more from Florida

Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.

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