he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dating After Heartbreak
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.