He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
