To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
