Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize