Princesses don't give blow jobs
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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