new low.... made out with someone while peeing
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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