i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
