Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
and you fell through a lawn chair
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize