He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
is it fun? or sober?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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