batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Still dying that you shit outside
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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