Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Small penises have feelings too.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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