Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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