Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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