I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
