im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
