I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
