The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize