I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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