We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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