this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
