I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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