I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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