If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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