Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
