Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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