My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
