Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
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Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize