I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
