...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
