That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
