ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
