I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
