It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
