you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
