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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (914): View more from New York

  Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem

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• (817): View more from Texas

  i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.

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