this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
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Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night