I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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