i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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