That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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