When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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