plz talk dirty to me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
