No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
