I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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