ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A bitchslap is in order.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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