I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
