you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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