i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
