She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
