I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
