My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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