He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize