Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm at about main and main street
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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